A List of Books I Read in 2018 (in [Basically] No Particular Order)

THIS WORKS THE SAME as it did last year and in 2016. The list includes all the books I read in 2018 and each entry has a brief synopsis to give you an inkling for how I feel about it. If the title and author of the book are bold and in italics, that means I recommend the book. If not, either I didn’t like the book or I don’t feel it is accessible enough to recommend to everyone. The synopsis should clarify this.

nonfiction

universenutshell

  • The Universe in a Nutshell — (Stephen Hawking)
    • Engaging and interesting as always, Hawking unveils the inner workings of the universe on a level that even plebs like you and I can understand. With his passing in March of 2018, it just feels right to put him at the top of the list.

losemadness.jpg

  • To Lose the Madness: Field Notes on Trauma, Loss and Radical Authenticity — (L.M. Browning)
    • L.M. Browning published this little (and I mean little) book in the wake of devastating trauma and loss in her personal life. She has a lot of important things to say to someone in the same position, but much of it feels more like therapy on behalf of the author. That’s totally fine, but I don’t know that I would recommend reading it unless you are seeking a kindred spirit in your own personal grief.

evorainbow

  • Evolution’s Rainbow: Diversity, Gender, and Sexuality in Nature and People — (Joan Roughgarden)
    • Easily my BOOK OF THE YEAR, this vitally important work was written by a transgender biologist who provides a clear, evidence-laden discussion of how gender operates in society and the animal kingdom. Not only is the book crucial for understanding gender and sexuality in the modern era, but it is unbelievably interesting. The animal kingdom is so incredibly diverse, and so are human cultures throughout history. Anyway, I did a whole powerpoint on this book for a friend’s party, so I could go on and on. Read it!

godandthestatenew_72_1

  • God and the State — Mikhail Bakunin
    • The father of anarcho-syndicalism/libertarian-socialism, Bakunin can be thought of as the chief ideological opponent to the more government-oriented versions of “the Left.” This work lays out his philosophical and moral framework, and it is probably only interesting to those of us who are on the Left and feel like we should familiarize ourselves with foundational texts.

ansyn

  • Anarcho-Syndicalism: Theory and Practice — (Rudolf Rocker)
    • I struggled with whether or not to make this one a recommendation. It is stuffy, has more of a history-feel than actual theory, and is surely only going to be read by Leftists. A primer on anarcho-syndicalism (which I have been told is the thing that most appropriately describes my personal political views), this book by Rocker goes through the timeline of the ideology as well as its notable implementations (primarily in Spain circa WWII).

bookofyear

  • The Book of the Year 2017 — (No Such Thing As a Fish Podcast Members)
    • More of a coffee table book, The Book of the Year 2017 was given to me on Christmas last year and I finished it… just after Christmas in 2018. The podcast on which it is based is a trivia podcast by the researchers behind hit British TV show QI (Quite Interesting), and the book reads with the same comedic/informative vibe. It’s fun, but at the end of the day it is only a coffee table book.

strangerthings

  • Stranger Things: Worlds Turned Upside Down: The Official Behind-the-Scenes Companion — (Gina McIntyre)
    • Maybe I’m just recommending this because I got it for my wife for Christmas and then ended up devouring it before she read it. Or maybe because, even though I wasn’t all that into Stranger Things, this book still held my attention and captivated me with its look at design and writing choices. A little too self-congratulatory, the book nevertheless is a decent look at the strange story of this first major Netflix “blockbuster.” Also, sic on the double colons in the title.

fiction

mystery

  • theMystery.doc — (Matthew McIntosh)
    • I had high hopes when I saw this colossal monstrosity of a book. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to immerse myself in extra-long and experimental books, so theMystery.doc seemed right up my alley. Instead, I ended up with no clue what this book was trying to be. There’s a strange narrative in there of a man who wakes up one day and has no memory, and then learns that he is apparently an author working on the next big American novel. But it doesn’t connect in any discernible way to the random images, poems, or bits of dialogue that make up half the book’s pages. Just… strange and ultimately abortive.

flowtears

  • Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said — (Philip K. Dick)
    • The wiki on this book classifies it as “paranoid fiction,” and I’ve never heard a better term for a PKD book. Flow My Tears is vintage Philip K. Dick, featuring a dystopian police state in which a genetically engineered TV star wakes up one day and realizes that there is no evidence that he has ever existed. No one remembers him, his long-running show apparently never aired, and he is stuck as a nameless man in an oppressive society. Poignant, harrowing, sad, and prophetic, this book should be on the shelves of sci-fi nerds worldwide.

twinpeakdossier

  • Twin Peaks: The Final Dossier — (Mark Frost)
    • It seems I read a lot of books about films and shows this year. This one was a fascinating summarization of the events of David Lynch’s famous show Twin Peaks. I’d recommend it for anyone who enjoys the show and wants to test out their own theories.

dodo

  • The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O. — Neal Stephenson and Nicole Galland
    • A 2017 Christmas gift, this book was one of the first I read in 2018. It is a phenomenal collaboration between Galland and Stephenson. While I have not read Galland’s work before, and though I am an avid Stephenson fan, it is clear to me that Galland elevated his work to a new height. The story is about a covert government agency that is seeking to advance the interests of the United States through… magic. For those of you who are wary of Stephenson and his infamous difficulty with endings, you may take some solace knowing that I thought this one ends particularly well. It actually seemed like a logical and coherent conclusion.

hamrye

  • Ham on Rye — Charles Bukowski
    • My first Bukowski, this book is apparently autobiographical in nature. It is a study in growing up in the era of the Great Depression, and it is easy to see (if Bukowski’s own childhood was anything like that depicted in the book) why he ended up with the views and vices he had. This grim view of normal, everyday life represents somewhat of a departure from my usual fare, but it delivered tremendously.

univharv

  • Universal Harvester — John Darnielle
    • Written by Darnielle of The Mountain Goats fame, this second novel of his follows a clerk in a small town video rental store (remember those?). When a few complaints are lodged that some of the tapes have unexplained footage spliced into them, the hunt for the culprit is on. Darnielle weaves haunting imagery throughout the novel, and he has no right to be as good at prose as he is. It is obvious that his background in music greatly influences his writing. With the exception of VanderMeer (elsewhere on this list), I rarely have read writing that sings quite like this does.

emissary.jpg

  • The Emissary — Yoko Tawada
    • This astonishing novelette follows a young boy and his grandfather in Japan after a devastating tragedy has forced the nation to close its borders, isolate itself from the rest of the world, and tend to its children. The result of the tragedy is that kids are born with incredibly weak bones and terrible health problems, while the elderly seem to be immortal. Weird and absurd, the book won the 2018 National Book Award, and I cannot disagree. Tawada shows her mastery of imagery and description.

rama

  • Rendezvous with Rama — Arthur C. Clarke
    • Rendezvous with Rama is the story of a mysterious spaceship that comes into the solar system, apparently lifeless and with no discernible purpose. It is the story of the crew that visits the ship and slowly explores the mysteries inside. While it may be sacrilegious not to recommend an Arthur C. Clarke book, and while I did enjoy Rendezvous with Rama, the book ultimately is more about the quest than the answers and often comes off too cold and disinterested in what would be the most astounding moment in all of human history. I’m by no means trashing it, but it was not my favorite Clarke of the year.

childhoodsend

  • Childhood’s End — (Arthur C. Clarke)
    • Speaking of favorite Clarke of the year: here it is. Scratch that. This may be one of my favorite science fiction books of all time. The book is set in the future, when mysterious beings called Overlords visit earth and begin to shepherd the human race… but for what purpose? Wildly imaginative, expertly paced, and believably written, this book is a testament to why Clarke is often called The Prophet of the Space Age.

itcover

  • It — (Stephen King)
    • My first foray into Stephen King in a long time, and my first of his novels, It was a stupendous surprise to me. Frankly, the quality of this novel made me upset at my college professors, who used to scoff at King as if commercial success meant he was a lower-tier author. The man can write his ass off. These characters are fleshed out to an incredible degree, the pacing is (mostly) perfect, and the tension builds to terrifying crescendoes. If you haven’t read this classic, you absolutely should. Though Evolution’s Rainbow claimed my BOOK OF THE YEAR, It probably claims my NOVEL OF THE YEAR designation.

salemslot

  • ‘Salem’s Lot — (Stephen King)
    • This was my Year of King, basically. I enjoyed this novel and King’s ability to craft interesting, real-seeming characters in an exceedingly creepy environment. Not as good as It, but still worth a read. If you like vampire books, that is.

stephenkingpetsematary

  • Pet Sematary — (Stephen King)
    • This was one of the more disturbing books I’ve read. As a father, I was exceptionally moved by this harrowing story of a man who learns of a secret burial ground that brings the buried back from the dead. Once again, King builds characters that we care about. That’s the secret to his success. There are plenty of horror writers with similar technical ability, but King is able to create characters that feel like real people. This means we get attached to them and share in their inevitable distress.

WoT06_LordOfChaos

  • Lord of Chaos: the Wheel of Time, Book 6 — (Robert Jordan)
    • I will finish this series, dammit. After stalling out for over a year, I returned to the unbelievably complex world of the Wheel of Time. I won’t spoil anything here, but it suffices to say that Lord of Chaos is aptly named. It’s a chaotic narrative with many moving parts and many important developments in the story of The Dragon Reborn.

familiarredwood

  • The Familiar, Vol. 5: Redwood — (Mark Z. Danielewski)
    • One of my favorite experimental authors, MZD continues his epic tale of a young girl named Xanther and her special cat. The only bad thing I can say about this series is that I was looking forward to reading Vol. 6 this year when I learned that the promised 27-book cycle has been put on hiatus. Perhaps it was inevitable with a series this long, but it was still a crushing blow and I hope Danielewski is able to get back to it soon.

finaldescent

  • The Monstrumologist, Book 4: The Final Descent — (Rick Yancey)
    • My wife introduced me to the Monstrumologist series a few years ago, and it is one of the best series out there. The books are framed as collected excerpts from an old man’s diary, gathered together by author Rick Yancey after the man (whose past is unknown) passed away at a nursing home. The notes reveal that the man was an apprentice to a Monstrumologist many, many years ago and was learning to study the monsters that exist all around us. A fascinating story coupled with beautiful and skillful writing, this series comes highly recommended. If you don’t trust my judgment, trust my wife’s!

mbfe

  • My Best Friend’s Exorcism — (Grady Hendrix)
    • My Best Friend’s Exorcism is an ode to ’80s horror films in book form. The story of a young girl whose friend, she believes, becomes possessed by a demon, the book clips along at such a good pace that I finished it in a day. Normally an ’80s love-letter would feel heavy-handed, and some of my friends said that they felt this way about MBFE, but I felt that the references to pop culture were organic and made in a way that made sense within the framework of the story. Check it out if you’re in the mood for quirky, teenage-drama horror with real emotional vibrancy.

BookClubTrilogy_TA

  • The Southern Reach Trilogy (Annihilation, Authority, Acceptance) — (Jeff VanderMeer)
    • The books on which the film Annihilation was roughly based, the Southern Reach trilogy tells the story of the mysterious Area X. 30 years ago, an undisclosed “event” warped the landscape there, and no amount of research teams has been able to figure out what is going on. We begin the story with “the biologist,” who enters Area X as part of the latest expedition. Jeff VanderMeer may be, frankly, the best author I read this year. His writing is absolutely astounding, almost prose poetry in some ways. Beautiful, cold, stark, the language tinkles across the page like shiny bits of broken glass, and it kept me reading at a record pace. Highly, highly, highly recommend this trilogy.

pen33

  • Pen 33 — (Roslund and Hellström)
    • Warning: this book is not for the faint of heart. It is a crime novel from Sweden’s top crime novelist duo that centers around the most taboo crime in all of human society: child rape. The writers do not shy away from the details, and there is plenty of tragedy to go around in this book. At its core, the book is about society’s trust in the justice system and its willingness to abide by laws even when situations are not cut-and-dry. If you can stomach the gory details, I suggest checking this one out. It was the last book I read in 2018, so maybe this isn’t saying much, but I’m still thinking about it.

graphic novels

saga6

  • SAGA, vol. 6 and 7 — (Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples)
    • I’ve written about this series in both of the previous Books I Read lists, so I’ll spare you. It’s a brilliant story with stunning artwork and should be a must-read for comics aficionados.

incal

  • The INCAL — (Alejandro Jodorowsky and Moebius)
    • I recommend this one to fans of Jodo and Moebius, but not to others. While Moebius is a genius and Jodo has incredibly complex and interesting ideas, Jodo’s actual writing leaves a lot to be desired, in my opinion. I still loved the graphic novel, which is about a futuristic society spanning galaxies and took many ideas from Jodorowsky’s failed bid to direct a film based on Frank Herbert’s Dune, but the story seems thrown together in some ways.

Alright, that’s it. That’s all the books I read this year… I think. It’s a bit of a slow down from last year, but I plan on getting back into the swing of things in 2019. I’d love to hear about the books you read this year as well, so let me know!

 

Advertisements

Why Writing Nonfiction Feels Wrong, But Isn’t

 

quill

My uvula is forked, but not my tongue. That little dangly bit at the back of your throat? Yeah, mine has a bifurcation in it (likely the result of my palate closing late-on in my mother’s pregnancy). The kindest way to describe what this looks like is to say that it resembles a sort of upside-down heart. The way I end up having to describe it, inevitably, is that it basically looks like a tiny ballsack in my throat.

I know about the forked-uvula thing because I was told about it by my family doctor literally every time I visited him when I was growing up. We’d have almost the exact same conversation every visit, verbatim.

Doc: “Say ahh.”
Me: “Ahh.”
Doc: “Hey, did you know you have a bifurcated uvula?”
Me: “Yes.”
Doc: “How did you know?”
Me: “You tell me every time I come in here.”
Doc: “Well, it’s a pretty rare thing. Pretty neat, Michael.”
(an awkward pause)
Doc: “Hey, it’s better than having a forked tongue!”

And every time, this cheered me up. Even when I was sick. Maybe my mood lightened because of the humor of my doctor’s confusion (though certainly not his corny joke); maybe I felt better because of the sheer familiarity of the routine. Most likely what lifted my mood was something different, something bigger than all of that.

Most likely what lifted my mood was the doctor’s sincere interest, his wonderment, at a part of me (even such a small thing as a uvula that no one ever sees, that has no effect on anything, really, whatsoever). As if something about me was worthy of note.


I grew up a good Christian boy, regularly attending church as many as three times a week, listening as patiently as I could to sermons and Sunday School lessons. From the age of nine until the age of twenty-five, when I left the faith, I was relatively diligent in my beliefs. What I’m saying is that I heard a lot of sermons and talks and testimonies and messages. Understandably, plenty of these talks get lost in time, and it’s interesting to note the ones that I remember.

One such moment from my religious past that has stuck with me is a talk that was given to my youth group by our youth pastor, Brad. The talk concerned humility. Trying to drive home the fact that remaining humble is a constant process that requires serious dedication, Brad gave us this little quip that I think has some profound implications: “If I were to give out a trophy to the most humble person in the room, I’d have to snatch it back the minute someone came up here to take it.”

Obviously Brad’s point was that humility is one of those slippery qualities that put you in a Catch-22 situation. If you think you have it, you probably don’t. And this was meant as a way for us young folks to start to think about our actions and our attitudes, to strive even more toward behaving in healthier, kinder ways toward other people. It was meant as a sort of admonishment and encouragement to us, a command to esteem others above ourselves. And this, of course, is a good and noble purpose.

However, I have grown up to be a writer. I have discovered that I feel most comfortable and alive when I am crafting some kind of written work. It is, to borrow jargon from my religious past, my calling. And one of the most important lessons to learn about writing is that the most powerful pieces resonate on a personal level. As all of my teachers hammered into me in college: write what you know.

But I don’t like writing too much of what I know. I don’t like writing creative nonfiction about my own past. For one, it feels less revelatory than my fiction (which, paradoxically, often winds up showing me something true about myself that I wasn’t even aware I was writing toward). Yet I think the worse issue with nonfiction, at least for me, is that it feels terribly unhumble. Writing fiction feels like I’m creating something new, making a thing that wasn’t there before. Perhaps I’ve been trained by an upbringing that urged me to join in the work of the Creator, that told me art and creation were things that proved I was made in the image of God, and perhaps for this reason fiction seems much holier, much safer. With fiction, I create whole realities out of thin air.

Writing nonfiction feels like screaming at the world LOOK AT ME, THESE ARE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME, READ THEM AND BOW BEFORE MY WORDS. It feels uncouth, somehow almost dirty, in a way that writing fiction simply doesn’t. It feels like esteeming myself before others.

It feels like sin.


But it is not.

Writing nonfiction can be poignant or aphoristic; it can be a way to categorize your own life, even only for yourself (like a journal); it can be useful in finding others who have had similar experiences, useful in helping them through those experiences when needed, useful in bonding. Even if it weren’t important in all of those ways, writing nonfiction would still be important simply for the reason that it often does feel less safe, less holy than writing fiction. What better way to stretch yourself in your art than by doing that which is difficult for you to do? What better way to learn?

Above all that, writing nonfiction is important and good and righteous for this reason: it affirms that everyone has some feature that is interesting and worthy of note.

See, you may not have some harrowing drug-recovery story that you think will sell a lot of books. You may not have met tons of famous people or traveled to exotic locations. Hell, I went out of the country one time over a decade ago and I still try to milk those stories as much as I can. But even so, you have something within you that can serve as a story, that can and must be told. As the great Flannery O’Connor once said: “Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days.”

You have important things to say. You are interesting and worthy of note.

As for me, my name is Michael Candelario.

My uvula is forked, but not my tongue.

10 Cloverfield Lane–A Brief Review

10cloverfieldlane

Good science fiction—well, wait, hold on. I’m not going to start this review by wildly generalizing about an extraordinarily varied genre. So I’ll be a bit more specific: good creature-based, invasion-type science fiction plays up its own fantastical elements to discuss what it means to be human. Examples of this kind of story are Alien (which showcases, among other things, the indomitable human spirit), Avatar (which flips the script and discusses humans as the invaders in order to get at an underlying theme of corporate greed), and even John Carpenter’s The Thing (which, as I see it, pinpoints just how solipsistic our inner lives are—we don’t truly know each other). These stories have staying power with us—we engage with them and carry them with us, reflecting on them, for quite some time—because they hit on subtle truths that we all feel, even if we haven’t worked through them intellectually.

10 Cloverfield Lane fits comfortably (if such a word can be used for such an uncomfortable film) within this mold. It is exciting, visceral, thought-provoking science fiction backed by a delicately worked script in which each line seems to flow naturally from the last, peopled with characters played to an astounding level of professionalism, and lit with perfect imagery that somehow stays fresh and new while simultaneously reinforcing the starkness of the film’s world. For me, the film was a refreshing take on alien invasion if solely for the fact that the aliens are basically tangential. The story reminds us that there is already plenty to be afraid of here among just us humans. Moreover, I think it makes an as yet unstated point about apocalyptic-type disaster films: perhaps, in order to survive, one would need to “doomsday prep.” And yet the propensity to prepare for a forthcoming doomsday—the ability to obsess over problems that haven’t arisen just yet to the point of building an underground shelter complete with water and air filtration systems, multi-locked doors, and several years’ worth of food—might in itself signify a bit of a mental disconnect from “normal” humanity. I’m not saying all doomsday preppers are super weird, and I don’t think the film is saying that either. But I do think there is an interesting conversation to be had—that has been started by the film—about what kinds of pathological issues might coincide with such behavior. Seriously, it is an amazingly well-done film. I have nothing negative to say about the performances or the writing—though I think that, in other actors’ hands, some of the lines could have been disastrous.

So that’s it. If you want to avoid spoilers, stop here and know that the film is really good.

From this point on, I assume you’ve seen the film. Serious spoilers ahead.

I want to talk about the plot for a moment. Okay, I won’t insult your intelligence by saying that I had no problems with the narrative. It does seem a bit strange (but not entirely impossible) that advanced alien technology wouldn’t be able to detect lifeforms bunkered underground (especially when we piece together that the “car” Michelle hears early on is actually the alien ship doing a pass over the area. But what bothered me the most is that Howard, a man who has been utterly meticulous about cleanliness/orderliness/preparation, somehow overlooked the scratched message of “HELP” and (more importantly) the brooch that his “daughter” left. I know it’s necessary to advance the plot, but I just don’t buy that Howard would neglect to clean that up. The only answer I can fathom is that he hadn’t gone into that area during the time since “Megan’s” death, but I don’t think someone like Howard would abstain from daily maintenance of a filtration system that, once the apocalypse he’s been preparing for comes, will be responsible for keeping him alive. I think the plot would have worked just fine with Michelle seeing the “HELP” carved into the window from the inside, talking to Emmett about it, and then having a separate moment in which the two flip open to “Megan’s” picture and Emmett realizes that she was the missing girl from his high school.

Regardless of one or two minor issues with the plot, what absolutely makes this film amazing is the strength of the actors’ performances. John Goodman plays the kind of creepoid character I love—epitomized in one of my favorite recent scary movies, Creep. Honestly, this performance is up there with my favorite Goodman roles of all time. Mary Elizabeth Winstead should have to swim in film opportunities after her stellar portrayal of Michelle. John Gallagher, Jr. had the unenviable job of being a third wheel both in central-film-relationship sense and in importance-to-the-plot, but he found a way to make Emmett both hilarious and deeply endearing (which, of course, is absolutely essential to the film “working”). I would hazard that, had a single one of this trio failed to perform, the entire film would have fallen apart. When you have such a small cast of characters, each and every one of them has to shine. And they did.

I think that’s probably all that needs to be said. The score is eerie and fitting, the décor is fantastic. I loved the movie, and I think most of you will too. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Reader Input Desired (bonus: progress report)

Hello there, readership. Audience. Tribe. Whatever you want to call yourselves. How has it been? Good. I’m glad to hear it.

As many of you are probably aware—I expect you’re awaiting the moment with clenched teeth and white knuckles—my deadline for getting my first novel out is fast approaching. Halfway through NaNoWriMo (and, incidentally, about halfway through writing the draft of my next novel), December is coming up fast. So let me fill you in on a few things I’m trying to work through currently. I need some input on this from you guys—the ones who will actually be reading this stuff.

First off, a progress update: the sci-fi novel has been shipped out to some readers for suggestions and input. Come December 1st, I’ll put aside my NaNoWriMo project and address these issues, make necessary corrections, etc. I’m aiming to have the sci-fi novel published and ready to be downloaded by December 15, though I’m giving myself an extra five-day window in case I have to make some serious adjustments. In the meantime, while my team of “alphareaders” is going through the sci-fi book with fine-toothed combs, I’m working on what will eventually be my second book—the first book in a fantasy series about a dwarf. If you follow me on Twitter (link is on the right-hand side of this blog) you will be familiar with my clever hashtag for this project: #dwarfstory. The goal with this project is to have 60,000 words written by the end of November. This will put me at 2/3 through the novel, if my estimates are correct. I currently have about 35,000 words written, and I’m going to have a bunch of time to write over Thanksgiving weekend. Things are looking up.

Alright, now that the progress report is out of the way, I need your help with something. Since my publication deadline is approaching, I’ve been stewing over how exactly I want to publish my novel. From the beginning, the plan has been to release the book through Kindle Direct Publishing. I’ve heard that the program is easy to use and has a lot of marketing tools. Plus you can get up to 70% of the royalties, which is unheard of in traditional publishing. I’ve been happy about this arrangement because it should serve as a good way for me to wet my feet in the publishing world while relying on a professional, global corporation as a bit of a safety net. However, some things have changed recently. I’ve been bitten by the “pay-what-you-want / give-stuff-away” bug. I think it’d be really cool to release the book for free and then just have an option to donate money if you so desire. Or, alternatively, set it up in such a way that you can just pay what you want—including the option of paying nothing. Basically the same idea, either way. This is more in line with my personal philosophy about art and about relating to people in general. However, let me just be vulnerable and say that I’m reluctant to do it.

Here’s why. First off, there is the obvious vulnerability of spending over a year working on a project and then just trusting people to compensate you. What if no one pays me anything? My wife, who works full time so that I can stay at home with the kids and pursue a writing career, has graciously told me that it’s okay if I never make any significant money off of my work, but let’s just be honest. Perhaps it’s a product of the Industrial Revolution and subsequent masculine/feminine dichotomies, or perhaps it’s selfish pride, or perhaps it’s even a good desire, but the fact remains that I do want to be financially successful enough to provide, on my own, for my family. I’d love it if my wife didn’t have to work. Not that she wouldn’t work. She enjoys her job. But just so that she didn’t need to work in order to pay the bills. That’d be cool. Of course, the go-it-alone mentality sort of rubs against the grain of the whole “marriage” thing—where we’re supposed to “become one flesh” and work through life together—but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to make wagonloads of money and be able to call myself a self-made man (a misnomer if ever there was one).

Secondly, I’m scared to release the book for free because I don’t know anything about computers. This is really the major problem, I think. I mean, I haven’t expected to really make any money off this first book. It is, after all, a first book. And I don’t have the vast marketing resources of a major publisher behind me, nor even a marketing team. It’s all just me and you, reader. And word of mouth. And, hopefully, some coffee-shop open mics or something. So my first fear in the preceding paragraph, though very visceral and real, is not that big of a deal. It’s a fear that will still be there even if I do release the book through KDP as originally intended. But this second fear is much more serious. I wouldn’t have the first clue how to set up this website so that you can donate. I know it’s probably very easy to do, but I don’t know how. And I’m not sure that I have time to learn with my deadline coming up in a month. Plus, I don’t have money to pay someone else to do it. So there’s that. Also, I want the eBook to look really good. Or at least to be formatted well. It’s my understanding that KDP is workable as far as formatting goes, and it helps you through the process pretty well. I don’t know that for sure, but Amazon seems to know what it’s doing. I’m worried about how the book will look if I just try to format it myself. I’ve been told that I can upload it as a PDF file, which is apparently readable on a Kindle, but I don’t know that it will look as good as if I used KDP. Again, I’m showing my ignorance of computers and technomajiggers.
Anyway, readers, I would greatly value your input on this. What do you think? Should I do a donation-only or pay-as-you-go model? Or should I stick with my original plan of using KDP to get my feet wet and then, later on down the road when I’ve become more acquainted with the process, start releasing books by myself? Let me know what you think.

And thank you. For your input and for your support. It’s all very much appreciated.

Work Schedule: A Life Update

Hey there, readers.

It’s been eons. And I apologize for that, but not too profusely. See, things have been afoot in the life of ML Candelario. My wife gave birth to our second son, I got a job selling timeshare, and now I’m staying at home watching the little stinkers while Megan does her Speech Language Pathology wizardry at a couple of local schools.

I didn’t forget you during all this, though, potential audience. All this while, I’ve been working on my first novel—a science fiction story that’s been labored upon under the clever working title “Sci-Fi Story,” but which will probably be called Marionette when it launches. I finished the first draft, did a cursory edit on my laptop, and now am handwriting edits and revisions on the printed-out pages. Initially, the novel weighed in at around 85k words. But it has become apparent that I’m going to lose a lot of those words after revision. I’m told this happens.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop up on here and give you all an update. Here are the projects in which I’m currently engaged:

• Marionette—current release date = December 2013
• first novel of Dwarfstory series—first draft to be written during NaNoWriMo = November 2013
• collection of poetry—ongoing, no set release date
• unnamed sci-fi/possibly YA project—doing concept work, will write after Dwarfstory (2015?)

I’m also planning to redesign this website. It worked for a bit as a sort of blog, but now that I’m going to be publishing things in the near future it has become apparent that better organization is necessary. But Megan will probably do that. She’s better at the computahs.

We’re taking a trip out to Texas this week, but I hope to post a poem on here in a few days. I want to get back to regular posts, even if they’re only little updates.

Thanks for your support, and I’ll (hopefully) have something out for you to read pretty soon!

-Mike

Life Update: Housespouse

It is a quarter after one in the afternoon right now, and the house is finally quiet.

Well, the dryer’s running, I can hear the heat pumping through the vents, and the whirring of electronic devices is pretty much incessant. But what I mean is that Netflix is off and Asher is in bed. Sleeping. Wait, scratch that; I just heard him mumble a little to himself. I guess what I mean is that he’s down for a nap and I can finally relax.

I don’t know how women did this back in the eras in which it was socially unacceptable for them to have careers. It is exhausting. And the biggest thing that makes it, in my opinion, even more exhausting than an office job is that no real progress is ever made. You can clean the house all day and do every possible load of laundry, but you’ll soon have it all to do again. It is a mentally stressful job, being a housespouse.

So here’s the news: I was going to write a review of Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash, but some things have changed in my life this week and so I thought I’d rather write about that. Basically, through a series of overly optimistic decisions that we made, it has come about that we aren’t really financially stable enough to have a babysitter. So from now on I’m just a stay-at-home dad – there aren’t any more days for me to leave Asher at home and go write for eight hours. It just didn’t work. On one hand that’s a bummer (because it means I can’t go out and just focus on writing for long periods of time), but on the other hand it’s pretty cool (because it means I get to spend a lot of quality time with my son before his little brother arrives). From here on out, the plan is that I’ll try to slip in some writing time while Asher takes his naps, maybe go to Starbucks for a few hours on the weekends. I’m still really hoping to have the first draft and a few edits and re-writes done by the time we move (if, that is, I get into grad school this fall). This goal is becoming increasingly difficult – and not just because I can’t go out and write anymore. I’m also going to need to get a job this summer so that we can afford to move if I do get into grad school. Which will significantly cut into my writing time. One of the problems I’ve had in the past with writing on a consistent basis while working a full-time job is that by the time I’ve finished working, I’m usually too tired to really immerse myself in the story and write well. So what comes out is drivel. Granted, most authors tell me that drivel is necessary on a first draft, but that’s a difficult pill for me to swallow. I tend not to write because I am a perfectionist and I know that my first draft is going to suck – especially if I write it while trying to work a full time job and thereby being in a perpetual state of tiredness. But this is something I have to just get over. This book is getting published this year.

So there it is. I’m currently a stay-at-home dad. Trying to write on the side. Whenever I get the chance. Which is rare. So I should probably go now, while Asher is asleep, so I can write some more in the novel. If I’m being totally honest, it’s coming along quite nicely, what with today being only February 21st and all.

Life Update 2/8/13

deardiary
(or: It’s Half Past Four and I’m Only Just Now Doing Anything Worthwhile)

So, internet, Mike is back in the writing game. Yes, I know you all missed me dearly and now here I am, ready to start once again doing regular blog updates. Rejoice, world.

Here’s the skinny: my wonderful wife Megan recently graduated with her Master’s degree. Since her degree is in Speech Language Pathology, this basically meant that she was on the job market for all of like five minutes before the openings and interviews started rolling in. Long story short, she now has a job in the school system of a local town. What this means for my family is that I was able to quit my job cashiering at the hospital and focus on writing. So here’s my schedule: three days a week, we have a babysitter come over to watch Asher and I go out to various locations (usually either Starbucks or my parents’ house – or both) and write. The other two days I stay home and play househusband. I say “play” because I lack the mystical quality of housekeeping that so many housewives I know inherently have. I mostly try to keep up with Asher and do laundry, and even that proves too much at times. But oh well. The point is that I am now able to write and get stuff done. So let me tell you about that.

I have made the unretractable vow that my first novel will be published this year on the Kindle store. This first one is going to be a science fiction novel. Current as of this blogpost, I have written about 22,000 words. This is roughly a third of my estimate for how long the finished novel will be (though I could be off on that estimate…). So things are getting done. Furthermore, I have mapped out an extensive plot outline and timeline as well as having short dossiers on my main characters. Guys and gals, I am super-excited about this story. It’s making tons of sense to me and is interesting. Hopefully it will be interesting to others as well. But if not, that’s cool. I’ll learn from the experience and approach the next project with new knowledge. By the way, that dwarf story I was tweeting about a lot last year is on the boards to be the next project after this one is published. It’s still looking like the dwarf story will be a trilogy of shorter novellas, but there is a chance I could combine them into one larger novel. It all depends on the scope of the story and whether or not I think the proposed trilogic segments will have the necessary climaxes/resolutions. Also, it depends on how the market goes for these shorter novellas. I know that recently there has been a spike in novella sales, but I’m not totally convinced that people are going to keep preferring them to novel-length stories. My plan is that after those two projects, and if people are buying my stuff and/or Megan is making enough money for it, I have a few more sci-fi/young adult projects that I’d like to finish. My plan is also to release at least one or two poetry collections or short story collections within like the next five years. Maybe.  Perhaps, after all of that, I will feel comfortable enough to start really trying to work on another project of mine – that environmental terrorism novel that I’ve mentioned before on this blog. That thing is like my baby (disregarding, of course, my actual physical children), and so I’ve been really reticent to start digging in and writing it until I feel my skills as an author are better. But, I also recently had the revelation that writers, y’know, write. You have to start walking if you ever hope to reach your destination. Or whatever trite aphorism applies here.

Something else that has changed recently: I just applied to graduate school. If I am accepted, I will be starting this fall with the goal of obtaining my Master’s Degree in English with a concentration in Rhetoric and Composition. I think that this will do two things: firstly, it will allow me to better my understanding of the English language and thus hopefully will improve my writing; and secondly, it will give me the option of teaching at, say, a community college – and therefore will give me a way to actually make some money should it arise that my writing career doesn’t earn me millions. In any case, it will certainly be a good thing to do in this economy and in this job climate.

Okay, so those are the major changes in my life at this moment. Did I mention that here in about eleven weeks Megan, Asher, and I will be welcoming a fourth member of our family into the world? Because that’s happening (good lord, eleven weeks!). So life is really good right now and yet also really busy. Funds are tight, since Megan only gets paid once a month and so we’re kind of in no-man’s-land since I already quit my job. But it’s okay. For the first time in a while, I am actually happy with the direction my life is taking, profession-wise. I feel like I am working on a project that is worthwhile, that I am pursuing a goal that is both attainable and meaningful, and quite frankly that I’m doing something that is fun. Which is a new experience for me. I mean, I haven’t hated every job I’ve had, but I sure haven’t been doing anything that fulfilled me.

For you guys and gals out there (all ten of you who might read this blog occasionally), this also means that I am going to try to update this here blog at least once a week. I feel like it’s an important thing to do – that it offers an outlet for any future fans of mine to connect directly with the author of books they read. So I have to start providing that now, I think. Expect a review of Neal Stephenson’s novel Snow Crash sometime in the following week.

Ooh, I almost forgot. At the same time that all of this is going on, a close friend of mine and I are co-writing a screenplay. It’s an adaptation of a short story that a more distant friend of ours wrote some years ago. Actually, it’s really more like my friend is writing and I’m just sort of helping out with the story, providing another brain for him to bounce ideas off of. I can’t reveal any more information at this time, but it’s pretty cool. I think the movie is going to be rad.

And… that’s it. Other than all that, though, life is simple. I guess. Thanks for reading, and get ready for my first published novel to be released!